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Monday, February 23, 2009

Time to Update

Well, it's time to update the blog. Jim and I lost the baby back in Dec. December 19th to be exact. We went in for a follow up ultrasound for someting so mundane and the technician kept taking notes and was unusally quiet. She then brought the doctor in and he just stated "the fetus is dead." He was a complete jerk. There were tons, thousands of tears. No one exactly knows what went wrong and the overall thought is that there was something wrong with the baby - with the way the cells fused and divided. It was really hard not to blame myself (as much as everyone else told me that it wasn't) because bearing children is the one thing that women are supposed to be able to do without any issues, without any questions. It's so hard not to feel like a failure but it gets easier every day.

It took time to adjust and let things sink in. Things are better now and are back to normal. Jen, my NP, said that we can start trying mid-end March, which we plan on doing.

We're also planning another vacation for January 2010 which is definitely something positive to look forward to. I definitely can't wait to go back. I love it down there....

Until next time...