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Monday, October 31, 2011

One of those days....

This weekend has just been a very long one of those days...I've just felt blah and somewhat sad. Perhaps this weekend was the worst and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because J had to work, maybe it's because I want to do more for Nugget and can't. We're trying to wait until after the shower to start getting the nursery prepared/organized which I think is slowly draining me because all I want to do is get things done for the baby - yes it's official I'm nesting - and be with J.

And then there is the shower itself. I'm worried there won't be any people there. I mean did a bad weekend get picked to hold it? And before anyone says anything it's not about the gifts, while they are nice and incredibly, incredibly appreciated - it really isn't. I want people to be happy about this baby. I want people to love this baby as much as J and I already do. I just want Nugget to be celebrated. I want it to be a good time and just be with all my family and friends.

Then there's the nursery. I agree with the decision that J and I agreed to about waiting until after the shower. We don't know what we will receive at the shower and neither of us want to do a whole lot of running around returning things if we don't have to. Doesn't mean that's going stop me from having the thought running through my head that it's not going to be done in time. What if the baby comes early? From the date of the shower, it's only 2 months until Nugget's due date.

Labor is starting to weigh more on my mind as well. What if I can't handle the pain? What if I can't do it? What if we don't make it to the hospital in time?

I miss J. Tonight is just a very emotionally filled night.

Random Fact: Tigers can mate up to 50 times a day!


Saturday, October 15, 2011

Respect...Family...

I'm sure this isn't just another hormonal rant. Fairly certain. At least I know it's not 100% hormonal driven...

What is it about in-laws and lack of respect that seem to go together? Deep down I know it's not all in-laws and it's unfair to lump them all into one category but for the purposes of this post - I'm sorry if you're one of the good ones. 

Now I know we're all partial to our "side" of the family. I'll admit it; I prefer being with my family rather than J's, not that I don't love them. It's just hard to be around them sometimes. It wasn't always that way however, something changed drastically and to be completely honest I'm not sure what it was other than it seemed to have been sometime around our wedding (J is the 'baby' of the family - fyi). I don't want anyone to walk away from this post thinking that I don't care about my inlaws because I do - they are part of my family. I wouldn't have my husband, who is the world's most wonderful, sweet, kind, and caring guy, if it wasn't for them.

My biggest peeve is that there is a lack of respect for J and I as a couple. For example, if someone comes up with an idea for a joint gift for another person in the family  unless J is the one to answer the question after we've discussed it and looked at our budget, it seems like the decision is up for questioning or debate. Last Christmas this situation came up and the topic was repeatedly brought up until J said somethings, despite me saying and repeating that it just wasn't in our budget and we couldn't swing it. Or if I state my opinion/thoughts on a subject during a discussion either I'm wrong and/or I get corrected (ie told) why I'm wrong. To a point I feel like the general consensus is that I'm temporary and that they have to tolerate me long enough until I go away. Another example is that when HRPitA (or aka A) joined Facebook, she friended J and D but didn't friend me until J spoke up and said something (3 days or so days later), even after I asked him not to because at that point I didn't care anymore. The lack of something as simple as an invite spoke volumes. Even then it took like an additional 3 days for the friending to come along.

There are other examples but I think the point is made. Now, and this probably wrong on my part but I've just let most things go, for the most part unless they really have bothered me, but with Nugget on the way, I am feeling much more...irritated by the way things happen (or don't for that matter). A's favorite saying is "Because I'm the mom" and I get why she says it. However her children are grown adults, capable of making their own choices, decisions and dealing with the consequences. I don't want decisions or choices that J and I have made for Nugget (ex. no soda, no solid foods unless we're working on introducing them - and we give you what we're introducing, don't bash the decision to breastfeed or bottlefeed...etc) to be ignored because she feels that she knows better. It won't fly with me, not with our child. And the fact that it seems that I'm not listened to now, gives me great fears it won't change once Nugget is here.

I think the thing that bothers me the most about the whole situation is that I don't know how to change it. On one hand, I don't want to be the bitch of the family, that seems to go against the grain of what everyone else wants. On the other, I expect to be respected, just as they demand I respect them. I don't want to start family drama (I've had enough of that to last a lifetime - but that's another post) but I don't think what I'm asking for is all that outrageous or unheard of and I don't want to go to extremes to make my point, but for my family I will...

Random Fact: Porcupines can FLOAT!! Yup.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

26 Weeks Down, 14 To Go...

Time is flying by. I can't believe that it's already October. The end of the year rush is starting slowly and this year, atleast for J and I, there will be more than just birthdays and holidays in the mix. Nugget's arrival is approaching and we are very excited.

I'm starting to get antsy. Very antsy. I want to start buying things - clothes, crib, dresser...etc - and it's not helping that there are a ton of sales on clothes now and they are so cute. However, we are waiting until after the shower in order to compare what we need with what we receive (and dashed with what we want...(:  )

The good news is I have relaxed for the most part about the pregnancy. I still have the occasional bouts of "is the baby ok?" and "why isn't Nugget moving more" or "Am I eating right/exercising enough/did I do something that could harm the baby" moments but they are coming less often than before (and it only took 6 months! LOL). I've definitely been hit by preggo brain. Atleast once a day (usually more) I forget what I was going to say/do. I'm still doing well with my blood pressure and my weight so congrats to me!

J and I (along with D, L, and L's sister) just got back from Disney not to long ago and we had a blast. While I couldn't go on a lot of the rides that I would have liked to, J and I got to do some of the things that we hadn't done before. We caught some of the shows and street acts that they do, parades, pin trade with cast members and I got to shop for different things (mainly for the baby...LOL). There were a lot of cast members who asked how far along I was, when I was due...etc. I can't wait for Nugget's first trip. :) It's going to be so much fun.



Random Fact: The lungfish can live out of water for several months in a state of suspended animation.