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Monday, February 11, 2013

Coffee with your choice of guest

There are millions of people in this world that would be a great choice to have a cup of coffee with. Brilliant minds that could give insights on whatever you'd want to know, athletes that you admire, musicians, world leaders, celebrities..etc. The list goes on and on but I think the person that I'd want to share this time with, this once in a lifetime opportunity would be my dad. Just to hear his laugh one more time since I don't remember it very clearly. I remember how he used tell me to grow my hair out, despite it being shoulder length, and leave it curly because "men like long, curly hair".

I probably wouldn't even give him his coffee until he had met his granddaughter, who is growing up without being able to experience the full force of his love and generosity, who will only be able to know him through the stories that she hears from us. It's a funny thing though, we have a picture of my mom and dad hanging in the dining area of our kitchen and M will laugh and point (and kiss if we bring the picture down) specifically at my dad every time we walk by it. It's this big, knowing grin; her face literally lights up. She's been doing this since she was about 6-8 months old without us ever specifically showing her the picture. Makes you wonder....

I'd want to know how he thinks I'm doing as a mom. I'd just want him to talk, about anything really, just to hear his voice again. It's funny the things you remember once someone leaves your life forever. Things like he took his coffee black. No frills, no fruity creamers; just a mug of black coffee with the occasional slice of toast. However, he would make 2 pieces of toast because the dog needed breakfast too. The way that when he was concentrating on something he'd stick his tongue out just a fraction - M does the same thing.

I'd want him to know how angry I was at him when he passed away. He should have done more to stay with us, that he knew what he had to do to ease the burden on his heart/body but chose not to. I'd want him to know I'm not anymore and that I have made peace with it, even if it is still too hard for me to visit his grave. I want to know if he's happy where he's at and if he watches over us, especially M. I'd want to know if Montana and Hunter (my parents dogs) are with him too. I'd wonder what he'd make of mom having a cat because she's always claimed she "wasn't a cat" person.

I'd want him to know just how much I miss him and if he misses me (and all of us - Mom, my brothers, nieces...etc) too.

I'd want him to know I love him.

Random Fact: Google was originally called Backrub.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

No Worries, No Pressure

I've been sitting here for over an hour trying to decide what to write for my 30 day challenge/goal and have come up with bupkus. Posting to my blog isn't a requirement for the goal but I thought since it was only the 2nd day it would be easier.

Yeah, not so much.

I know what will happen; same thing as always. I'll struggle to write something and then once M is up from her nap the whip of inspiration will hit me. I will then be try to make notes regarding (or even worse try to commit everything to memory) whatever witty prose I come up with until after bedtime at which time said witty prose will sound either completely asinine or will have been completely forgotten and then the page will continue to sit blank.

I have often thought that my muse is evil and devilish because of the times that she chooses to inspire me to write but now I wonder if it's just me. I try too hard to force it out so I get frustrated and when I'm not thinking of it (or my mind is occupied by other tasks) is when the inspiration is able to come flooding out. So maybe, for now, I'm just going to go read - and keep a notebook close by.

Random fact: If two full moons occur in a month, the second full moon is called a blue moon.

A New Goal

Hel-lo 2013.

I'm about 40 days behind in saying this but well....I needed January to recoup. December flew by in a whirlwind and took a chuck of January with it. 

I am the mother of a 1 year old. What a difference a year makes. When I think back to what was going on last year (2012 v 2013) at this time I am simply amazed. She was this teeny little sleepy baby who barely fit into newborn sized clothing. And now - now she is just this little fireball who has a personality that makes me laugh everyday, who is into exploring and climbing and playing. There have been so many changes in a year and I know that they are just going to keep happening.

Everyday I see something new that she's learned. The newest thing is she loves to be read to. She'll go get a book from her little stack and bring it over. She'll attempt to climb into your lap and listen to you read - though you sometimes have to speed read because she's turning the page before you finish the sentence. Her favorites so far are her Minnie's book of colors and Donald's book of counting. She also likes her Princess Cinderella book.

In other 'news' I guess, I've started to set a couple of short and long term goals for myself. The first is I'm going to start getting more decent nights sleep. I'm obviously blowing this one out of the water at the moment because it's just after midnight as I write this but...the fire needs to be going more before I can hit the hay and inspiration hit to write this post.

The second is that for the next 30 days I am going to write something - anything. It doesn't have to be anything special; what I write could be ideas that are bouncing through my head, or a review of a book that I've read, or even a blog post but I have to write something. I thought about making it so that I have to post what I've written here but it's hard to ensure 
a copyright on here so I've nixed that idea for now. 

The reason behind this goal is that I've started so many different projects (writing wise) and I think all but a handful are sitting in their designated folders unfinished. I'd like to have finished one of them this year. There is another part to this goal that I am still waffling on and that would be that I have to share what I've written with at least 2 people. I'm not very good at sharing my work. I have a handful of people who have knowingly read something I've written (I do not count fanfiction.net because everything is done under pseudonyms/pen names). It's not that I dislike sharing what I've written but more that the audience that I tend to target (ya/new adult/fantasy/sci-fi..etc) isn't typically what the majority of the people I share with read.

Other goals are the standard 'resolution' set - loose weight (which I am working on), be better organized (always trying)...etc. This year is going to be a good year - I can feel it. 

Random Fact: Cows "moo" in different accents according to where the live. Just like we talk!