I have so been slacking on blogging. And this particular blog post has been in the works for about a month. I blame it on pregnancy brain. I guess the blog is just lucky it didn't get a blank post because there have been days that, well, that's how my mind has been working at times... ha ha ha ha.
We have 5 weeks to go (as of tomorrow it will only be 4). I'm nervous, anxious, excited, and thrilled. J and I will be holding our little "Nugget" in as few as 5 weeks. I feel like time is just speeding up and speeding by. I'm hoping that everything will be ready in time.
The crib is finally made - now we just have to finish sterilizing and
putting everything away...I think that's the hardest part right now
because there are days that I have tons of energy and then there are
days like to day where I have absolutely zilch.
Christmas is going to be here before we know it. I just want to make it through Christmas and then Nugget can make his or her appearance anytime. Just get me to the 28th --- I'll even back it down a couple of days from my original request date of the 31st.
And speaking of Christmas, I am excited as I usually am because I love Christmas. I love all the lights and decorations and for the most part, I love how people seem to be genuinely nice and kind to each other. I would however make 1 tiny little adjustment this year.
I want some (not a blizzard, not 16 inches in an hour, not a storm) snow. Just enough to make everything look crisp and fresh and well, for lack of a better word, Christmas-y. Here is it, Dec 19, and we've had bupcus for snow. Maybe a dusting that lasted 2 hours. Hell, the ski resorts are struggling to make snow. Most of November had temps in the 40-50's if not the low 60s. It's not that I'm complaining but still - it's December...I'd like a white Christmas...And for Nugget to show up after Christmas...just saying...
Random Fact: Didaskaleinophobia is the fear of school.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
One of those days....
This weekend has just been a very long one of those days...I've just felt blah and somewhat sad. Perhaps this weekend was the worst and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because J had to work, maybe it's because I want to do more for Nugget and can't. We're trying to wait until after the shower to start getting the nursery prepared/organized which I think is slowly draining me because all I want to do is get things done for the baby - yes it's official I'm nesting - and be with J.
And then there is the shower itself. I'm worried there won't be any people there. I mean did a bad weekend get picked to hold it? And before anyone says anything it's not about the gifts, while they are nice and incredibly, incredibly appreciated - it really isn't. I want people to be happy about this baby. I want people to love this baby as much as J and I already do. I just want Nugget to be celebrated. I want it to be a good time and just be with all my family and friends.
Then there's the nursery. I agree with the decision that J and I agreed to about waiting until after the shower. We don't know what we will receive at the shower and neither of us want to do a whole lot of running around returning things if we don't have to. Doesn't mean that's going stop me from having the thought running through my head that it's not going to be done in time. What if the baby comes early? From the date of the shower, it's only 2 months until Nugget's due date.
Labor is starting to weigh more on my mind as well. What if I can't handle the pain? What if I can't do it? What if we don't make it to the hospital in time?
I miss J. Tonight is just a very emotionally filled night.
Random Fact: Tigers can mate up to 50 times a day!
And then there is the shower itself. I'm worried there won't be any people there. I mean did a bad weekend get picked to hold it? And before anyone says anything it's not about the gifts, while they are nice and incredibly, incredibly appreciated - it really isn't. I want people to be happy about this baby. I want people to love this baby as much as J and I already do. I just want Nugget to be celebrated. I want it to be a good time and just be with all my family and friends.
Then there's the nursery. I agree with the decision that J and I agreed to about waiting until after the shower. We don't know what we will receive at the shower and neither of us want to do a whole lot of running around returning things if we don't have to. Doesn't mean that's going stop me from having the thought running through my head that it's not going to be done in time. What if the baby comes early? From the date of the shower, it's only 2 months until Nugget's due date.
Labor is starting to weigh more on my mind as well. What if I can't handle the pain? What if I can't do it? What if we don't make it to the hospital in time?
I miss J. Tonight is just a very emotionally filled night.
Random Fact: Tigers can mate up to 50 times a day!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Respect...Family...
I'm sure this isn't just another hormonal rant. Fairly certain. At least I know it's not 100% hormonal driven...
What is it about in-laws and lack of respect that seem to go together? Deep down I know it's not all in-laws and it's unfair to lump them all into one category but for the purposes of this post - I'm sorry if you're one of the good ones.
Now I know we're all partial to our "side" of the family. I'll admit it; I prefer being with my family rather than J's, not that I don't love them. It's just hard to be around them sometimes. It wasn't always that way however, something changed drastically and to be completely honest I'm not sure what it was other than it seemed to have been sometime around our wedding (J is the 'baby' of the family - fyi). I don't want anyone to walk away from this post thinking that I don't care about my inlaws because I do - they are part of my family. I wouldn't have my husband, who is the world's most wonderful, sweet, kind, and caring guy, if it wasn't for them.
My biggest peeve is that there is a lack of respect for J and I as a couple. For example, if someone comes up with an idea for a joint gift for another person in the family unless J is the one to answer the question after we've discussed it and looked at our budget, it seems like the decision is up for questioning or debate. Last Christmas this situation came up and the topic was repeatedly brought up until J said somethings, despite me saying and repeating that it just wasn't in our budget and we couldn't swing it. Or if I state my opinion/thoughts on a subject during a discussion either I'm wrong and/or I get corrected (ie told) why I'm wrong. To a point I feel like the general consensus is that I'm temporary and that they have to tolerate me long enough until I go away. Another example is that when HRPitA (or aka A) joined Facebook, she friended J and D but didn't friend me until J spoke up and said something (3 days or so days later), even after I asked him not to because at that point I didn't care anymore. The lack of something as simple as an invite spoke volumes. Even then it took like an additional 3 days for the friending to come along.
There are other examples but I think the point is made. Now, and this probably wrong on my part but I've just let most things go, for the most part unless they really have bothered me, but with Nugget on the way, I am feeling much more...irritated by the way things happen (or don't for that matter). A's favorite saying is "Because I'm the mom" and I get why she says it. However her children are grown adults, capable of making their own choices, decisions and dealing with the consequences. I don't want decisions or choices that J and I have made for Nugget (ex. no soda, no solid foods unless we're working on introducing them - and we give you what we're introducing, don't bash the decision to breastfeed or bottlefeed...etc) to be ignored because she feels that she knows better. It won't fly with me, not with our child. And the fact that it seems that I'm not listened to now, gives me great fears it won't change once Nugget is here.
I think the thing that bothers me the most about the whole situation is that I don't know how to change it. On one hand, I don't want to be the bitch of the family, that seems to go against the grain of what everyone else wants. On the other, I expect to be respected, just as they demand I respect them. I don't want to start family drama (I've had enough of that to last a lifetime - but that's another post) but I don't think what I'm asking for is all that outrageous or unheard of and I don't want to go to extremes to make my point, but for my family I will...
Random Fact: Porcupines can FLOAT!! Yup.
What is it about in-laws and lack of respect that seem to go together? Deep down I know it's not all in-laws and it's unfair to lump them all into one category but for the purposes of this post - I'm sorry if you're one of the good ones.
Now I know we're all partial to our "side" of the family. I'll admit it; I prefer being with my family rather than J's, not that I don't love them. It's just hard to be around them sometimes. It wasn't always that way however, something changed drastically and to be completely honest I'm not sure what it was other than it seemed to have been sometime around our wedding (J is the 'baby' of the family - fyi). I don't want anyone to walk away from this post thinking that I don't care about my inlaws because I do - they are part of my family. I wouldn't have my husband, who is the world's most wonderful, sweet, kind, and caring guy, if it wasn't for them.
My biggest peeve is that there is a lack of respect for J and I as a couple. For example, if someone comes up with an idea for a joint gift for another person in the family unless J is the one to answer the question after we've discussed it and looked at our budget, it seems like the decision is up for questioning or debate. Last Christmas this situation came up and the topic was repeatedly brought up until J said somethings, despite me saying and repeating that it just wasn't in our budget and we couldn't swing it. Or if I state my opinion/thoughts on a subject during a discussion either I'm wrong and/or I get corrected (ie told) why I'm wrong. To a point I feel like the general consensus is that I'm temporary and that they have to tolerate me long enough until I go away. Another example is that when HRPitA (or aka A) joined Facebook, she friended J and D but didn't friend me until J spoke up and said something (3 days or so days later), even after I asked him not to because at that point I didn't care anymore. The lack of something as simple as an invite spoke volumes. Even then it took like an additional 3 days for the friending to come along.
There are other examples but I think the point is made. Now, and this probably wrong on my part but I've just let most things go, for the most part unless they really have bothered me, but with Nugget on the way, I am feeling much more...irritated by the way things happen (or don't for that matter). A's favorite saying is "Because I'm the mom" and I get why she says it. However her children are grown adults, capable of making their own choices, decisions and dealing with the consequences. I don't want decisions or choices that J and I have made for Nugget (ex. no soda, no solid foods unless we're working on introducing them - and we give you what we're introducing, don't bash the decision to breastfeed or bottlefeed...etc) to be ignored because she feels that she knows better. It won't fly with me, not with our child. And the fact that it seems that I'm not listened to now, gives me great fears it won't change once Nugget is here.
I think the thing that bothers me the most about the whole situation is that I don't know how to change it. On one hand, I don't want to be the bitch of the family, that seems to go against the grain of what everyone else wants. On the other, I expect to be respected, just as they demand I respect them. I don't want to start family drama (I've had enough of that to last a lifetime - but that's another post) but I don't think what I'm asking for is all that outrageous or unheard of and I don't want to go to extremes to make my point, but for my family I will...
Random Fact: Porcupines can FLOAT!! Yup.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
26 Weeks Down, 14 To Go...
Time is flying by. I can't believe that it's already October. The end of the year rush is starting slowly and this year, atleast for J and I, there will be more than just birthdays and holidays in the mix. Nugget's arrival is approaching and we are very excited.
I'm starting to get antsy. Very antsy. I want to start buying things - clothes, crib, dresser...etc - and it's not helping that there are a ton of sales on clothes now and they are so cute. However, we are waiting until after the shower in order to compare what we need with what we receive (and dashed with what we want...(: )
The good news is I have relaxed for the most part about the pregnancy. I still have the occasional bouts of "is the baby ok?" and "why isn't Nugget moving more" or "Am I eating right/exercising enough/did I do something that could harm the baby" moments but they are coming less often than before (and it only took 6 months! LOL). I've definitely been hit by preggo brain. Atleast once a day (usually more) I forget what I was going to say/do. I'm still doing well with my blood pressure and my weight so congrats to me!
J and I (along with D, L, and L's sister) just got back from Disney not to long ago and we had a blast. While I couldn't go on a lot of the rides that I would have liked to, J and I got to do some of the things that we hadn't done before. We caught some of the shows and street acts that they do, parades, pin trade with cast members and I got to shop for different things (mainly for the baby...LOL). There were a lot of cast members who asked how far along I was, when I was due...etc. I can't wait for Nugget's first trip. :) It's going to be so much fun.
Random Fact: The lungfish can live out of water for several months in a state of suspended animation.
I'm starting to get antsy. Very antsy. I want to start buying things - clothes, crib, dresser...etc - and it's not helping that there are a ton of sales on clothes now and they are so cute. However, we are waiting until after the shower in order to compare what we need with what we receive (and dashed with what we want...(: )
The good news is I have relaxed for the most part about the pregnancy. I still have the occasional bouts of "is the baby ok?" and "why isn't Nugget moving more" or "Am I eating right/exercising enough/did I do something that could harm the baby" moments but they are coming less often than before (and it only took 6 months! LOL). I've definitely been hit by preggo brain. Atleast once a day (usually more) I forget what I was going to say/do. I'm still doing well with my blood pressure and my weight so congrats to me!
J and I (along with D, L, and L's sister) just got back from Disney not to long ago and we had a blast. While I couldn't go on a lot of the rides that I would have liked to, J and I got to do some of the things that we hadn't done before. We caught some of the shows and street acts that they do, parades, pin trade with cast members and I got to shop for different things (mainly for the baby...LOL). There were a lot of cast members who asked how far along I was, when I was due...etc. I can't wait for Nugget's first trip. :) It's going to be so much fun.
Random Fact: The lungfish can live out of water for several months in a state of suspended animation.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Kick, Kick, Wallop
Tonight was the first night that Nugget kicked that there was no doubt what I was feeling. It's so cool and so weird. It makes it so much more real. There really is someone in there growing and becoming more active. My hand actually moved. I've been feeling little thumps and taps but it's hard to distinguish sometimes whether it's baby or gas bubbles moving around (and let's be honest here - pregnant women get gas. Get over it). What has better is that there was more than one - there were about five - and I could feel the hand or foot (whichever was actually doing the thumping) as it hit me. I just wish J could have been home instead of working to feel it as well.
Today was a great day. :)
Random Fact: Mosquitoes are attracted to the color blue twice as much as to any other color.
Today was a great day. :)
Random Fact: Mosquitoes are attracted to the color blue twice as much as to any other color.
Ugh! So tired of it....
I should really, really be sleeping however......I have a mini-rant.
I don't know why there is even a speed zone outside of my house! No one follows it and no one enforces it so why bother?!?!? I want spike strips and the ability to use them consequence free. Or better yet - I'd love to put a speed bump or a speed divot (think inverted speed bump) in the road at the edge of my property so that when speeders hit it they know. It's just so frustrating and it seems to have gotten worse this year. I don't know if I'm just noticing it more or what but it's getting to the point that I'm going to contact someone - as soon as I find out who to contact. Part of my reasoning is that there are kids in the area (not to mention L who I nanny for and my own bundle of joy) and there are more people who are walking on the road now (which is another whole topic on it's own). I'm afraid that someone is going to get hurt or killed because some idiot can maintain 30 mph for 200 ft (or whatever the distance is - which isn't far in reality) until they reach the village limit. I literally live like 3 or 4 houses from the sign! UGH!
Now that the speed rant is over....
Things here are doing good. Nugget is kicking more and more (and I can feel it!) and J has gotten to feel it - both by listening to my belly and by actually feeling it through my belly with his hand. Had a really good appointment on Monday where the midwife said I was doing wonderfully and we got to hear the heartbeat on the doppler again. Life is good. J took my first belly shot picture other day - at my request (yeah I know!). It wasn't that bad. I don't want to not have any but I've been so anti picture my entire life that it's hard to believe that I'll ever look decent in one. I honestly didn't look too bad. I haven't gained any weight but that's probably going to start to change soon. I've been trying to watch what I eat (and not as it goes in my mouth either - lol) and make healthier choices when I find that I am hungry but it's hard and doesn't always go to plan. LOL.
Alright - back to trying to sleep.
Random Fact: A male butterfly can smell a female butterfly from several miles away!
I don't know why there is even a speed zone outside of my house! No one follows it and no one enforces it so why bother?!?!? I want spike strips and the ability to use them consequence free. Or better yet - I'd love to put a speed bump or a speed divot (think inverted speed bump) in the road at the edge of my property so that when speeders hit it they know. It's just so frustrating and it seems to have gotten worse this year. I don't know if I'm just noticing it more or what but it's getting to the point that I'm going to contact someone - as soon as I find out who to contact. Part of my reasoning is that there are kids in the area (not to mention L who I nanny for and my own bundle of joy) and there are more people who are walking on the road now (which is another whole topic on it's own). I'm afraid that someone is going to get hurt or killed because some idiot can maintain 30 mph for 200 ft (or whatever the distance is - which isn't far in reality) until they reach the village limit. I literally live like 3 or 4 houses from the sign! UGH!
Now that the speed rant is over....
Things here are doing good. Nugget is kicking more and more (and I can feel it!) and J has gotten to feel it - both by listening to my belly and by actually feeling it through my belly with his hand. Had a really good appointment on Monday where the midwife said I was doing wonderfully and we got to hear the heartbeat on the doppler again. Life is good. J took my first belly shot picture other day - at my request (yeah I know!). It wasn't that bad. I don't want to not have any but I've been so anti picture my entire life that it's hard to believe that I'll ever look decent in one. I honestly didn't look too bad. I haven't gained any weight but that's probably going to start to change soon. I've been trying to watch what I eat (and not as it goes in my mouth either - lol) and make healthier choices when I find that I am hungry but it's hard and doesn't always go to plan. LOL.
Alright - back to trying to sleep.
Random Fact: A male butterfly can smell a female butterfly from several miles away!
Sunday, September 4, 2011
21 Weeks
Just over half way there. Five weeks later and I'm feeling a bit more confident about the pregnancy. I still have moments where I'll send myself into a bit of a panic about some things but those times are getting further apart, slowly. I'm also trying not to worry (ha!) as much. We had an appointment almost three weeks ago and we got to hear Nugget's heartbeat with the doppler. Nice and strong. I wish I could feel him (or her) move a bit more but our midwife said not to worry about it if I'm not feeling it consistently yet because of where the placenta is sitting. We also had an ultrasound last Thursday for the anatomy scan and everything looks good.
I worry about posting things about my pregnancy because I don't want to offend people. I've asked a couple of people if they mind when I post little blubs about the pregnancy or update pictures and I was told absolutely not; that I shouldn't feel guilty by any means (that I wasn't allowed) and that I have every right to enjoy my pregnancy - which I am believe me.
It just seems like now that I'm pregnant, I'm seeing other people who are struggling with infertility and I'm wondering if I was just blinded by my own pain to see it or if they are just now starting to coming out and talking about it. I certainly don't want to offend or hurt someone unnecessarily because I haven't forgotten what it was like to yearn for something so badly and having the ability to do nothing that it hurts to the core. I want those people to know - heck I want anyone to know - if you need someone to talk to, vent to, someone to ask questions, or just someone to listen I'm here. I will do all of those things. I am here for anyone who is going through this horrible, widespread pain.
And at the same time, I don't want people to make me feel guilty because I am enjoying every moment of this pregnancy. J and I have waited for this for a long time. I feel incredibly blessed to have this life growing inside of me. This precious life, bundle of joy. I love it at night when he listens to my belly at night and talks to the baby. The look of joy on his face and the amount I feel in my heart swells to new levels everytime. I didn't know it was possible to love him more than I already did but it is and it just keeps growing...
Now if we could only come up with a solid, loved, and agreed upon girl's name that fits my picky criteria and that J likes...LOL. We have a boy name all figured out, it wasn't hard at all. The name flows well together, goes with our last name, doesn't incite a fit of giggles when you say it out loud, has a couple of decent, non-tease-able, potential nicknames...etc Girl names however have become word association games and there always seems to be some reason why we don't this name or that. Was it this hard for our parents? I'm sure we'll find the perfect name, somehow, someway. Suggestions are welcome...hint hint hint...LOL
Random Fact: A tiny fire extinguisher came with Xerox's first successful copier because it would tend to overheat and burst into flames.
I worry about posting things about my pregnancy because I don't want to offend people. I've asked a couple of people if they mind when I post little blubs about the pregnancy or update pictures and I was told absolutely not; that I shouldn't feel guilty by any means (that I wasn't allowed) and that I have every right to enjoy my pregnancy - which I am believe me.
It just seems like now that I'm pregnant, I'm seeing other people who are struggling with infertility and I'm wondering if I was just blinded by my own pain to see it or if they are just now starting to coming out and talking about it. I certainly don't want to offend or hurt someone unnecessarily because I haven't forgotten what it was like to yearn for something so badly and having the ability to do nothing that it hurts to the core. I want those people to know - heck I want anyone to know - if you need someone to talk to, vent to, someone to ask questions, or just someone to listen I'm here. I will do all of those things. I am here for anyone who is going through this horrible, widespread pain.
And at the same time, I don't want people to make me feel guilty because I am enjoying every moment of this pregnancy. J and I have waited for this for a long time. I feel incredibly blessed to have this life growing inside of me. This precious life, bundle of joy. I love it at night when he listens to my belly at night and talks to the baby. The look of joy on his face and the amount I feel in my heart swells to new levels everytime. I didn't know it was possible to love him more than I already did but it is and it just keeps growing...
Now if we could only come up with a solid, loved, and agreed upon girl's name that fits my picky criteria and that J likes...LOL. We have a boy name all figured out, it wasn't hard at all. The name flows well together, goes with our last name, doesn't incite a fit of giggles when you say it out loud, has a couple of decent, non-tease-able, potential nicknames...etc Girl names however have become word association games and there always seems to be some reason why we don't this name or that. Was it this hard for our parents? I'm sure we'll find the perfect name, somehow, someway. Suggestions are welcome...hint hint hint...LOL
Random Fact: A tiny fire extinguisher came with Xerox's first successful copier because it would tend to overheat and burst into flames.
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