Normal Saturday

Well this probably will be a short post but I'm trying to be better about blogging more often an so far I think I'm at 3 or 4 days in a row. Yay me! Though I do have to say thanks to Sheri for driving me to be more attentive to my blog. :) She even helped me find my new layout... :)

Today was nothing special. We did grocery shopping and put more food in our new freezer. I'm almost finished organizing my Disney pins...only a few more to put in the binder and then I'll be done for a bit.

I used our camera for the 1st time since our January vacation and I totally forgot that I hadn't taken the pictures off from it so I got that nice surprise yesterday when I went to transfer the pictures I had just taken to the computer.

This was the view from our hotel balcony. It overlooked the Savannah. There was a giraffe feeding box on one of the trees so we got to see them quite often.

Giraffes at the feeding box

This was the carving on the headboard of the bed we slept in.

Here's a full picture of the bed.

Ok, Jim and I are off to Target...talk to everyone soon!

Random Fact: Coulrophobia – fear of clowns

My Two Cents

I don't know whether I'm going to get this published all in one sitting or if it will even be posted today but I started this thought process in another blog and I wanted to continue it because well...I think I have a very valid point. I wonder how many people will agree with me...

Since when does having a reality television show make you a star? This thought process actually got started at work on Thursday when one of my co-workers was talking about the latest episode of Dancing with the Stars which of course caused us to focus on the "Stars" of the show and one name caught my ears...

Kate Gosselin.

When did she become a "Star"? Because that's not even in the top 10 people I think of when I think of someone who is a star or even someone who is on the cusp of being famous. Heck I don't think she'd be in the top 25 or 50.

Personally I can't stand her; I couldn't stand her on the episode or two that I happened to catch of Jon and Kate + Eight. I found her to be very controlling, uptight, and mean. I didn't like her attitude or how she treated people. I think the "fame" went to her head and while I don't necessarily blame her for all of it; I personally think that when there started to be marital issues (or rumors thereof) TLC should have said it's over; maybe we'll do a yearly special or bi-yearly special just to update viewers on how the kids are doing because that was supposed to be the focus of the show. How a normal family handles having a set of twins and sextuplets while trying to work, handle the sitter(s), handle getting (and paying for) groceries, diapers, formula and still having enough time to stay connected as a couple while making memories as a family.  I'm sorry a normal working class family does not live in a multi-million dollar custom built/designed home, nor does a normal family have personal/live-in nannies. She used those kids to get what she wanted for herself and it cost her something that I personally don't think it was worth - her marriage. Now I don't know the family personally so I don't know if there were problems before the tv show and I tried to stay away (by not reading/watching/listening) the drama but would you really have tried to have more kids with someone you couldn't stand anymore?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not harping on people who can afford it but it's not your typical working family. Nor am I harping on her for having kids just because we are struggling. I just don't like the drama that follows her everywhere. I mean those kids are going to hear about all the nasty things their parents said about each other and what/who they did- it's called the Internet - who hasn't googled their name or names of people they know before? I would just like to see Kate (and Jon - who while not included specifically in this is no angel) just fade into black - even for just a bit - to get their act together. Figure yourselves and your family out - without the public eye watching - and then if you still decide that you want the life of fame - do it for yourself and make it on your own name - not because you're part or were part of a show based upon your kids. Don't ride on the coattails of your children who didn't ask for this. And that goes for other moms of multiple children...you know who I'm talking about.

Random Fact: The stage were the television sitcom "Friends" was shot on is said to be haunted.

Reflecting....

Today was really good. Maybe I'm moving beyond this funk -- I really hope so because it's really irritating. How's that for irony? LOL.

The closer this surgery gets the more nervous I get despite how much I honestly try not to think about it. I got a phone call from the hospital that brought it to the forefront of my thoughts today. They needed to go over some questions with me. 21 days. Three weeks. Everything is going to be ok....

I find it amazing how something that you don't ever think about - ie getting pregnant - becomes the breath you breathe and takes over every compassing thought you can have. Why is that? It's gotten easier not to think about it but the thought runs through my head - whether it be baby names or dreams that I've had....

It's cool here today and it started rain just as I was leaving work. I think it's stopped now but I wish the weather would warm up and stay warm. I have a lilac bush that I'm excited to see bloom this year. We bought it in the late summer last year and of course it had already bloomed. I'm hoping it's going to be the dark wine color lilac...I'm just hoping it's not another white lilac. I already have one that I grafted from my parents house.

In other news, the renovations in the livingroom are almost complete. Jim hung the crowne moulding last week and  has most of the floor moulding cut. Now it's just to put that up, fill the nail holes, sand and spot paint. After that it's all cosmetic - hanging pictures and such. I also got a new bookcase for the livingroom. :)

I've been on a purging mission lately - getting rid of everything that we don't need, use or that's just useless clutter. . . It's been going pretty well and it's really cathartic. There's still more to go but it's refreshing just to see how much is done.

Ok, I'm going to work on organizing. :)

Random Fact: The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2000 B.C.

22 Days

Waiting sucks. There is really no other word to describe it.

Spent this morning trying to organize my Disney Pin collection - I'm blogging now so you can see how far I've gotten. LOL. Oh maybe tonight I'll get farther.

I'm going to try to start blogging again atleast once weekly from this point forward. I used to be really good; I used to blog atleast once or twice a week and then I stopped because I felt I had nothing to say. Or atleast nothing new to say.

Yesterday at work was better. Still think I'm just sick and tired of people but I handled yesterday better. Does that make sense? I have to wonder if some of my problem is the stupid birth control they put me on. Or maybe I'm just tired of waiting and want to get the show on the road....Either way - 22 more days.

Well off I go to get ready for work. I'm going to find something positive in today. I'm going to have a good day. I'm going to shake this funk.

Random Fact: The dramatic centerpiece of Disneyland Park, Sleeping Beauty Castle, stands a mere 77 feet tall but looks much larger due to forced perspective scaling architecture. The castle is trimmed in 22 karat gold leaf to ensure it glitters even on cloudy days

So....

Today was better. I think it's I'm just seriously sick of people. It's probably just a slump - I've had them before. I think it's just I have so much racing through my mind that I'm finding alot of things just annoy the ever living crap out of me. My tolerance is shot - which is pretty bad considering I work in a customer service industry. I'll be ok just have to get through this funk.

The good news is there's only 24 or so days until my surgery. yay.

Here's something more positive....My mom has a new friend...She's very friendly but still adjusting to her new home.




Isn't she cute?

Find me a hole.

For lack of a better word, I am frustrated. I am angry. I am sick of seeing and hearing about people getting what I so desperately want yet can not have - yet. I will throw that little word of hope in there because there is a glimmer of hope. I don't want to come across as insensitive or this cruel old bat...I am genuinely happy for them and I don't want anyone to go through a heartbreak such as miscarriage or the loss of a child. I wish them nothing but the best and I will be there to share in their joy; at the same time I wish it was me.

I hate that my doctor's office told me that I probably wouldn't be on the pill for more than 2 weeks and now it turns out I will have been on it for 6 and I don't know if I'm going to have to be on it after the surgery or not. I don't know how long after the surgery we're going to have to wait to start trying again. I hate that they got me in so quickly for the HSG and the MRI. Now it feels like they are dragging their feet with the surgery. I wish I didn't even have to have this surgery - I wish I knew that this was going to all be worth it.

I just want to scream. I just want to find a hole and crawl in there - to stay.

Random Fact: The coconut is the largest seed in the world.

I've thought about changing my blogger layout/background but I can't. I love my background and it's an unspoken image to my desired dream. I haven't blogged much in the last few weeks merely because there really isn't anything to blog about. Pretty much it's the same ol', same ol'.

Now however...after having a hsg, and a MRI - it has been determined that I have a septated uterus. What this means is basically I have a piece of tissue that it basically separating my uterus into 2 halves. It is removable with surgery. Outpatient surgery. I am brimming with happiness as this was the best of the 3 conditions we were given going into the MRI. The doctor did say that the piece of tissue is not hindering us from getting pregnant but that if we did conceive and the egg implanted on it - that the pregnancy would be destined to fail. The tissue is neither strong enough nor vascularized enough to support the pregnancy. If the egg implanted on the extreme right or extreme left that the pregnancy would survive but the baby would have 1/2 the room and therefore would put the risk for c-section/early delivery much higher.

We've decided to go ahead with the surgery. It's low risk and the rewards are great. Now we're back to the waiting game...

Random Fact: Elephants are the only land mammals that can't jump.