Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Winging it.

Some days that's all I feel like I do all day long.

I wish J's family accepted me as one of their own or even as a family member. Heck I'd even take that they stopped thinking about me as a temporary person in J's life.

I wish that the respect that is expected from me was with the understanding that I deserved to be respected as well.

There are just some days I think they'd be happy if I fell off the face of the Earth or at a bare minimum out of their (and conversely J's) lives.

I try really hard to laugh it off and brush it off as typical joined family crap but I have feelings and it hurts! Backhanded comments and total disregard for me, not only as a person but also as the wife of your son/brother and as the mother of your granddaughter/niece, hurts! It hurts as much as driving a knife through my heart. I know you don't think I'm good enough and hell - I'll be honest - there are times that I don't think I'm good enough either not for everything that he does so that I can stay home with M and she doesn't have to go to daycare. However, I LOVE HIM. I have loved him for as long as I can remember and I will love him from beyond.

I'm frustrated because I don't know how to solve the problem. I'm frustrated because I don't know how the problem started. I'm not asking you to love me, but try to like me. Attempt to get to know me as a person, not just J's wife, M's mom. Maybe try to be a friend...or just try.

Random Fact: A lemon contains more sugar than a strawberry.