BLOGGER TEMPLATES - TWITTER BACKGROUNDS »

Monday, March 11, 2013

Somewhere

 Somewhere inside of me is a story fighting its way onto paper. Or at least to a word file on my laptop. I have the epilogue (or what I think is the epilogue) partially written and partially still being tweaked in my head.

Anywho, the rest however just won't be making its way out tonight. Between J being on vacation for the last 2 and 1/2 weeks (not complaining - trust me, M and I absolutely loved having him home) and M teething like it's her job (I seriously think she's cutting her 4 canines in one shot), my routine for housework/cleaning/things I can't do while M's awake has taken a serious hit. So after pampering myself last night (ie - I did the bare minimums) tonight has been a catch up. I haven't sat down since she went to bed at 9 and it's now quarter after 11 but the house is looking much more than just orderly and the laundry room no longer looks like a bomb went off in it. There is so much still on my to do list though. One thing is that I want to post a couple of pictures from M's first trip to Disney, her first Christmas, her first birthday on here (and now that she's nearly 15 months old...I'm so far behind!) and show how beautiful my girl has become. Eh - maybe tomorrow.

So what did we do while J was home? Well....

1. We bought new living room furniture since the set we bought when we moved into the house has just about had it. I have to say it didn't hold up nearly as well as what I thought it would when we bought it. It makes me sad because I loved the set, angry because it wasn't necessarily inexpensive for us to buy it at the time and it looks far older than the 9 years that it is, but I'm also happy that it's going. It doesn't fit the layout of our home; we bought it because it was what we wanted but not what would work best with our home. The new couch and recliner will work much better in the space.

2. I read a couple of pretty good books though M has taken to being read to (and I am in heaven because of it - I want her to be a reader like me) so I have read far more to her than for myself. What did I read? Well...



Altered by Jennifer Rush
Erased (Altered, #2)

Hot covers huh? Yeah - they're even more impressive side by side. LOL. I really liked Altered and an eagerly awaiting it's sequel in Jan of 2014. Yup. Next. Year. I do suggest that you check out Altered though, the story line is different from other books that are currently available for YA/NA readers.

I also read Undone, the novella to the Unraveling series. Definitely makes me want Unraveling's sequel, Unbreakable much sooner than it's April release. Undone answered some questions, created a bunch more and left it with a cliff hanger!! Ugh - I hate it when books do that but on the plus side the sequel is only a month-ish away - which is better than 6 months.

Liz Norris Website
Unraveling (Unraveling, #1)Undone (Unraveling, #1.5)Unbreakable (Unraveling, #2)

Other than that we just spent time as a family. Went to an aquarium and saw some sea lions, some penguins, and some harbor seals. M didn't really care for the fish. Hung out with some friends. It was nice to just have some downtime with my little family.

Random Fact: If you run in the rain, you will get about 50% wetter than if you stood still.













Monday, March 4, 2013

No Limitations

If there was absolutely nothing to hold you back (time, money, circumstances, etc.), what would you do with your life?

I had this question posed to me in the comments section of one of my other posts and it really got me thinking. What would I do?

I would write.

I have all of these stories bouncing around in my head but they are all incomplete. Unfortunately right now I just don't have the time. I try - don't get me wrong - writing and being published is a dream of mine but unfortunately right now other things are taking precedence.

I would have a personal trainer/nutritionist.

I need to get into better shape and eat better. I've been doing ok on my own but it would be nice to have someone there to kick my butt when I'm not feeling particularly motivated - plus if I was paying someone to keep me motivated - well for me not wasting $ is always a motivator.

I would give back more.

I would love to be able to teach M about donating to worthy causes more than what we already do. J and I make every effort to give back to to the community that we live in, and donate what we can to those in need but there are times, the Holidays for example, when I'd like to do more. I want my daughter (and any future children) to know that she's fortunate for the loving family and the opportunities/amenities she has, even if we aren't the wealthiest by monetary value.

I would find my dream house.

I'm hoping this one doesn't seem shallow because I'm grateful that J and I are able to afford our own home and really there's nothing wrong with it. I'm just not fan of how the location has changed over the years of us being here. I'd rather be in the country than in the village which is strictly my personal preference. I don't need a mansion, or some exorbitant country estate, I just want something where my neighbors aren't so close.

I would adopt.

I know how hard J and I struggled to have M. Adoption is one of the topics that came up several times along the way. Would we consider it? How would it make us feel? Could we love an adopted child as much as we would a child we had created? Would family love the child as a blood relative? Would it make me feel like a failure because I hadn't given birth to the child? We both thought long and hard on those and many other questions but the answer was resoundingly yes - adoption was something we could (and would want to) do. We may still consider this as a way of adding to our family down the road.

I'm sure there are more things that I would do but those were the ones that .came to mind immediately. What about you?

Random Fact: The act of snapping one's fingers is called a "fillip."

Monday, February 11, 2013

Coffee with your choice of guest

There are millions of people in this world that would be a great choice to have a cup of coffee with. Brilliant minds that could give insights on whatever you'd want to know, athletes that you admire, musicians, world leaders, celebrities..etc. The list goes on and on but I think the person that I'd want to share this time with, this once in a lifetime opportunity would be my dad. Just to hear his laugh one more time since I don't remember it very clearly. I remember how he used tell me to grow my hair out, despite it being shoulder length, and leave it curly because "men like long, curly hair".

I probably wouldn't even give him his coffee until he had met his granddaughter, who is growing up without being able to experience the full force of his love and generosity, who will only be able to know him through the stories that she hears from us. It's a funny thing though, we have a picture of my mom and dad hanging in the dining area of our kitchen and M will laugh and point (and kiss if we bring the picture down) specifically at my dad every time we walk by it. It's this big, knowing grin; her face literally lights up. She's been doing this since she was about 6-8 months old without us ever specifically showing her the picture. Makes you wonder....

I'd want to know how he thinks I'm doing as a mom. I'd just want him to talk, about anything really, just to hear his voice again. It's funny the things you remember once someone leaves your life forever. Things like he took his coffee black. No frills, no fruity creamers; just a mug of black coffee with the occasional slice of toast. However, he would make 2 pieces of toast because the dog needed breakfast too. The way that when he was concentrating on something he'd stick his tongue out just a fraction - M does the same thing.

I'd want him to know how angry I was at him when he passed away. He should have done more to stay with us, that he knew what he had to do to ease the burden on his heart/body but chose not to. I'd want him to know I'm not anymore and that I have made peace with it, even if it is still too hard for me to visit his grave. I want to know if he's happy where he's at and if he watches over us, especially M. I'd want to know if Montana and Hunter (my parents dogs) are with him too. I'd wonder what he'd make of mom having a cat because she's always claimed she "wasn't a cat" person.

I'd want him to know just how much I miss him and if he misses me (and all of us - Mom, my brothers, nieces...etc) too.

I'd want him to know I love him.

Random Fact: Google was originally called Backrub.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

No Worries, No Pressure

I've been sitting here for over an hour trying to decide what to write for my 30 day challenge/goal and have come up with bupkus. Posting to my blog isn't a requirement for the goal but I thought since it was only the 2nd day it would be easier.

Yeah, not so much.

I know what will happen; same thing as always. I'll struggle to write something and then once M is up from her nap the whip of inspiration will hit me. I will then be try to make notes regarding (or even worse try to commit everything to memory) whatever witty prose I come up with until after bedtime at which time said witty prose will sound either completely asinine or will have been completely forgotten and then the page will continue to sit blank.

I have often thought that my muse is evil and devilish because of the times that she chooses to inspire me to write but now I wonder if it's just me. I try too hard to force it out so I get frustrated and when I'm not thinking of it (or my mind is occupied by other tasks) is when the inspiration is able to come flooding out. So maybe, for now, I'm just going to go read - and keep a notebook close by.

Random fact: If two full moons occur in a month, the second full moon is called a blue moon.

A New Goal

Hel-lo 2013.

I'm about 40 days behind in saying this but well....I needed January to recoup. December flew by in a whirlwind and took a chuck of January with it. 

I am the mother of a 1 year old. What a difference a year makes. When I think back to what was going on last year (2012 v 2013) at this time I am simply amazed. She was this teeny little sleepy baby who barely fit into newborn sized clothing. And now - now she is just this little fireball who has a personality that makes me laugh everyday, who is into exploring and climbing and playing. There have been so many changes in a year and I know that they are just going to keep happening.

Everyday I see something new that she's learned. The newest thing is she loves to be read to. She'll go get a book from her little stack and bring it over. She'll attempt to climb into your lap and listen to you read - though you sometimes have to speed read because she's turning the page before you finish the sentence. Her favorites so far are her Minnie's book of colors and Donald's book of counting. She also likes her Princess Cinderella book.

In other 'news' I guess, I've started to set a couple of short and long term goals for myself. The first is I'm going to start getting more decent nights sleep. I'm obviously blowing this one out of the water at the moment because it's just after midnight as I write this but...the fire needs to be going more before I can hit the hay and inspiration hit to write this post.

The second is that for the next 30 days I am going to write something - anything. It doesn't have to be anything special; what I write could be ideas that are bouncing through my head, or a review of a book that I've read, or even a blog post but I have to write something. I thought about making it so that I have to post what I've written here but it's hard to ensure 
a copyright on here so I've nixed that idea for now. 

The reason behind this goal is that I've started so many different projects (writing wise) and I think all but a handful are sitting in their designated folders unfinished. I'd like to have finished one of them this year. There is another part to this goal that I am still waffling on and that would be that I have to share what I've written with at least 2 people. I'm not very good at sharing my work. I have a handful of people who have knowingly read something I've written (I do not count fanfiction.net because everything is done under pseudonyms/pen names). It's not that I dislike sharing what I've written but more that the audience that I tend to target (ya/new adult/fantasy/sci-fi..etc) isn't typically what the majority of the people I share with read.

Other goals are the standard 'resolution' set - loose weight (which I am working on), be better organized (always trying)...etc. This year is going to be a good year - I can feel it. 

Random Fact: Cows "moo" in different accents according to where the live. Just like we talk!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Winging it.

Some days that's all I feel like I do all day long.

I wish J's family accepted me as one of their own or even as a family member. Heck I'd even take that they stopped thinking about me as a temporary person in J's life.

I wish that the respect that is expected from me was with the understanding that I deserved to be respected as well.

There are just some days I think they'd be happy if I fell off the face of the Earth or at a bare minimum out of their (and conversely J's) lives.

I try really hard to laugh it off and brush it off as typical joined family crap but I have feelings and it hurts! Backhanded comments and total disregard for me, not only as a person but also as the wife of your son/brother and as the mother of your granddaughter/niece, hurts! It hurts as much as driving a knife through my heart. I know you don't think I'm good enough and hell - I'll be honest - there are times that I don't think I'm good enough either not for everything that he does so that I can stay home with M and she doesn't have to go to daycare. However, I LOVE HIM. I have loved him for as long as I can remember and I will love him from beyond.

I'm frustrated because I don't know how to solve the problem. I'm frustrated because I don't know how the problem started. I'm not asking you to love me, but try to like me. Attempt to get to know me as a person, not just J's wife, M's mom. Maybe try to be a friend...or just try.

Random Fact: A lemon contains more sugar than a strawberry.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Opinions....

So the other day J and I were asked if we'd seen so-and-so's facebook post and how the questioner couldn't believe what so-and-so posted; this got me to thinking...

Facebook is a social networking site but what exactly is the definition of 'social networking'? Well, according to my friend Google it is defined as:

          The use of a dedicated Web site to communicate informally with other members of the site, by posting messages, photographs, etc.

This leads to my next question - should you have to censor what you post if you know that something you want to post would offend one of your 'friends'? And then that therefore leads into the question should you censor yourself in other places, such as websites, and blogs, too?

My thought is no. I know that I don't censor myself here on my blog, though I do have 'code' (albeit not particularly creative ones...LOL) names for people in my life if I discuss them on here. J is my husband, M is my daughter...etc. I know when I post updates on the social networking site that I belong to I don't willingly go and blast people who have upset me (though there have been times that I've wanted to) but I do discuss things that are going on in my/our life now and again. I usually don't stop to think how someone is going to react when I post things because it's what I'm thinking/feeling at the moment.

If people are your 'friends' then they accept you the way you are, the good with the maybe not so good. Most of the time the things that are posted are mundane and trivial but occasionally people do post rants. Sometimes they even post things in frustration or anger but chances are they're just that - frustration and anger. But what happens when someone posts something controversial? Are they looking to purposely stir the pot or are they looking for a good and healthy debate, simply stating how they feel or believe? Does the thought on posting things like that change?

I'm all for healthy debates. One where there isn't any judgement, name calling, putting down of differing opinions but a simple, open dialogue exchange between people and their views. One where there isn't any name calling or putting down of others beliefs. The ideal outcome of this situation is everyone takes something away from the table, whether or not they changed how they see the topic or not. Unfortunately this doesn't happen very often because more often than not the outcome is everyone is defensive and put out because they think their opinion of the topic is the right one. The refusal to listen to someone else's side is causing the world to go deaf.

I believe that you shouldn't take anything posted on a social networking site to heart unless it's specifically directed at you (ie - your name is somewhere in the post). If someone posts something that you find offensive or that you don't agree with - let it go. It wasn't posted to hurt you or to drag your beliefs/morals through the mud. That person doesn't need to be told how their post was wrong or offensive to you because, again, unless your name is somewhere specifically in the post it - it more than likely wasn't about you.

Now I do think that personally attacking/cyber bullying someone through a social networking site is wrong. Just. Plain. Wrong. No one deserves to be attacked/bullied/harassed...etc. The world can be/is cruel enough without that being added to the mix. Maturity is a major factoring in having a social networking account in my opinion and those without it shouldn't be allowed to have one. If you really have a problem with someone deal with it face to face, not from behind a computer screen.

Random Fact: Until coffee gained popularity, beer was the beverage of choice for breakfast in most urban areas of the United States.