Closing Life Chapters

 So the weather has been getting nicer here lately, depending on the day. Blue skies and sun are becoming more prevalent and the temps are (mostly LOL) rising.

As an adult I know this means I need to start thinking about rotating in warmer weather clothes and possibly replacing some that have worn out - as all clothes eventually do. As a parent, I know that this means often children have completely outgrown a full season's worth of wardrobe that needs to be replaced or at the very least checked over and rotated to the next child. 

This is where I started my mission for the week. I started with the youngest because she obviously has no younger sibling to rotate the clothes down to. Those clothes get washed and packed away, separated out into what I'm keeping for them down the timeline (which to be honest these days is few and far between), a few like new pieces get offered to friends who have younger girls, and the rest goes to the yard sale pile. 

I ended up having to go through most of the boxes I had already packed to make sure that sizes hadn't been mixed up. As I looked at the clothes, I started to feel really sad, nearly tearing up. There would be no more of our babies to wear these clothes. There would be no more of our 'babies'. C was the last in our line. I know, logically, that the right choice was made to be done after her. I know that mentally, another loss would have been too much and how much of a toll the anxiety I experienced with her pregnancy took on me. But my heart still misses having a little baby. Their smells and their snuggles. The first smile, the first coo...

I know it's a great thing our girls are growing up. I know we have amazing things to come and memories to be made. It's easier to get things done now that they're older and more self sufficient which means we can do bigger things or more involved things. 

But it's so hard to say goodbye. 

I know it's irrational to have this kind of emotion tied to clothing but my babies wore them. The babies that I wanted so badly for so long...and so many that I've lost. 

I have 22 boxes of clothing waiting for a decision to be made. I think my plan is to have yard sale to get rid of them but I look a the boxes and I see my 'babies' in the clothes in those boxes and I falter. I know I need to get rid of them. They are taking up space and not being used. I know there are others that can use them more than we currently are...

I've never had such a hard time closing a chapter in my life.

BUT....

I made it through all of those boxes, condensed and even purged some stuff that I felt wouldn't be things I would buy...etc for others which is good. I haven some things that I'm not sure I want to part with - though I know people who would probably love them. So those are set aside...for now. And C's room is spring-cleaned and better organized. M's room was also spring cleaned and better organized. We upgraded her walls a bit from kiddy-style decals to some more mature art for her age.

All in all it's been a good couple of days. 

Happy Easter everyone!

Random Fact: Scotland is home to many mythical creatures. While many have claimed to have seen the Loch Ness monster, Scotland's national animal is the unicorn.