Strong is the new thin....

 I'm fat. 

I'm out of shape. 

I'm not trying to talk badly about myself or put myself down but this is a fact. I am overweight. I've been overweight for most of my life - I've definitely struggled with my weight my entire life - but I'm truly starting to see that I need to get back into better shape since having kids. 

Why is finding the time to workout so hard? Why does everything about working out seem so difficult? 

I also suffer from something called PCOS - Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome. A lovely *sarcasm* hormonal condition the affect *insert drumroll here* weight. Yay - lucky me. Basically I could workout 7 days a week for 3 hours a day and I wouldn't get the results a non-PCOS person would. I would probably still lose weight but it wouldn't be the same as your average person - if all external factors were similar (meal plan for example). It sucks and it's hard not to get down on myself when J and I workout together and he drops 5lbs but I don't lose anything (or worse gain). 

I don't know what the purpose of this post is for. Maybe it's just me complaining/venting. Maybe it's to try and bring awareness to people who judge others by their appearance. 

I will say I am trying. I'm trying to workout between 3 & 4 days a week but it's hard. I'm trying to be better for myself. For my kids. For life. I don't want to be 'thin' I want to be strong & toned. I want to be able to shop for clothes without feeling horrible about myself and how I look. I want to be able to be healthy.

Random Fact: Kangaroos can not walk backwards.