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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Winging it.

Some days that's all I feel like I do all day long.

I wish J's family accepted me as one of their own or even as a family member. Heck I'd even take that they stopped thinking about me as a temporary person in J's life.

I wish that the respect that is expected from me was with the understanding that I deserved to be respected as well.

There are just some days I think they'd be happy if I fell off the face of the Earth or at a bare minimum out of their (and conversely J's) lives.

I try really hard to laugh it off and brush it off as typical joined family crap but I have feelings and it hurts! Backhanded comments and total disregard for me, not only as a person but also as the wife of your son/brother and as the mother of your granddaughter/niece, hurts! It hurts as much as driving a knife through my heart. I know you don't think I'm good enough and hell - I'll be honest - there are times that I don't think I'm good enough either not for everything that he does so that I can stay home with M and she doesn't have to go to daycare. However, I LOVE HIM. I have loved him for as long as I can remember and I will love him from beyond.

I'm frustrated because I don't know how to solve the problem. I'm frustrated because I don't know how the problem started. I'm not asking you to love me, but try to like me. Attempt to get to know me as a person, not just J's wife, M's mom. Maybe try to be a friend...or just try.

Random Fact: A lemon contains more sugar than a strawberry.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Opinions....

So the other day J and I were asked if we'd seen so-and-so's facebook post and how the questioner couldn't believe what so-and-so posted; this got me to thinking...

Facebook is a social networking site but what exactly is the definition of 'social networking'? Well, according to my friend Google it is defined as:

          The use of a dedicated Web site to communicate informally with other members of the site, by posting messages, photographs, etc.

This leads to my next question - should you have to censor what you post if you know that something you want to post would offend one of your 'friends'? And then that therefore leads into the question should you censor yourself in other places, such as websites, and blogs, too?

My thought is no. I know that I don't censor myself here on my blog, though I do have 'code' (albeit not particularly creative ones...LOL) names for people in my life if I discuss them on here. J is my husband, M is my daughter...etc. I know when I post updates on the social networking site that I belong to I don't willingly go and blast people who have upset me (though there have been times that I've wanted to) but I do discuss things that are going on in my/our life now and again. I usually don't stop to think how someone is going to react when I post things because it's what I'm thinking/feeling at the moment.

If people are your 'friends' then they accept you the way you are, the good with the maybe not so good. Most of the time the things that are posted are mundane and trivial but occasionally people do post rants. Sometimes they even post things in frustration or anger but chances are they're just that - frustration and anger. But what happens when someone posts something controversial? Are they looking to purposely stir the pot or are they looking for a good and healthy debate, simply stating how they feel or believe? Does the thought on posting things like that change?

I'm all for healthy debates. One where there isn't any judgement, name calling, putting down of differing opinions but a simple, open dialogue exchange between people and their views. One where there isn't any name calling or putting down of others beliefs. The ideal outcome of this situation is everyone takes something away from the table, whether or not they changed how they see the topic or not. Unfortunately this doesn't happen very often because more often than not the outcome is everyone is defensive and put out because they think their opinion of the topic is the right one. The refusal to listen to someone else's side is causing the world to go deaf.

I believe that you shouldn't take anything posted on a social networking site to heart unless it's specifically directed at you (ie - your name is somewhere in the post). If someone posts something that you find offensive or that you don't agree with - let it go. It wasn't posted to hurt you or to drag your beliefs/morals through the mud. That person doesn't need to be told how their post was wrong or offensive to you because, again, unless your name is somewhere specifically in the post it - it more than likely wasn't about you.

Now I do think that personally attacking/cyber bullying someone through a social networking site is wrong. Just. Plain. Wrong. No one deserves to be attacked/bullied/harassed...etc. The world can be/is cruel enough without that being added to the mix. Maturity is a major factoring in having a social networking account in my opinion and those without it shouldn't be allowed to have one. If you really have a problem with someone deal with it face to face, not from behind a computer screen.

Random Fact: Until coffee gained popularity, beer was the beverage of choice for breakfast in most urban areas of the United States.

Monday, October 8, 2012

And so it starts...

Christmas shopping.

I know I know - it's over two months away. No one wants to think about it yet. Well I do!

Yup that's right I do and I've started. I'm pretty darn proud of it too. Granted I don't have much but I'm started and for me to be started before Thanksgiving is a pretty big feat. My goal for this year is to be done or pretty close to it before we leave on December 10th. I am not going to be running around like a crazed person this year trying to get everything we need in a matter of a week.

It should be easier this year because for starters I'm not 7 and 1/2 -8 months pregnant and I actually have ideas for everyone! Well almost everyone.

I'm so excited about Christmas this year. It's going to be so different and so much fun. We're trying really hard not to overdo it with M because she won't understand but it's hard. I don't want her to think that her birthday is in competition with Christmas because of it's location or that she won't get as special of a gift for Christmas or her birthday because of when she was born. How did my parents do it?

I think we've managed to find invitations that we like for her birthday now just to finish that list to see how many people we need invitations for...LOL...which means I should probably wrap up this post and go do that...or something else just as useful...like dream of Disney....ha ha ha ha....

Random Fact: A duel between three people is called a "truel."