21 Weeks

Just over half way there. Five weeks later and I'm feeling a bit more confident about the pregnancy. I still have moments where I'll send myself into a bit of a panic about some things but those times are getting further apart, slowly. I'm also trying not to worry (ha!) as much. We had an appointment almost three weeks ago and we got to hear Nugget's heartbeat with the doppler. Nice and strong. I wish I could feel him (or her) move a bit more but our midwife said not to worry about it if I'm not feeling it consistently yet because of where the placenta is sitting. We also had an ultrasound last Thursday for the anatomy scan and everything looks good.

I worry about posting things about my pregnancy because I don't want to offend people. I've asked a couple of people if they mind when I post little blubs about the pregnancy or update pictures and I was told absolutely not; that I shouldn't feel guilty by any means (that I wasn't allowed) and that I have every right to enjoy my pregnancy - which I am believe me.

It just seems like now that I'm pregnant, I'm seeing other people who are struggling with infertility and I'm wondering if I was just blinded by my own pain to see it or if they are just now starting to coming out and talking about it. I certainly don't want to offend or hurt someone unnecessarily because I haven't forgotten what it was like to yearn for something so badly and having the ability to do nothing that it hurts to the core. I want those people to know - heck I want anyone to know - if you need someone to talk to, vent to, someone to ask questions, or just someone to listen I'm here. I will do all of those things. I am here for anyone who is going through this horrible, widespread pain.

And at the same time, I don't want people to make me feel guilty because I am enjoying every moment of this pregnancy. J and I have waited for this for a long time. I feel incredibly blessed to have this life growing inside of me. This precious life, bundle of joy. I love it at night when he listens to my belly at night and talks to the baby. The look of joy on his face and the amount I feel in my heart swells to new levels everytime. I didn't know it was possible to love him more than I already did but it is and it just keeps growing...

Now if we could only come up with a solid, loved, and agreed upon girl's name that fits my picky criteria and that J likes...LOL. We have a boy name all figured out, it wasn't hard at all. The name flows well together, goes with our last name, doesn't incite a fit of giggles when you say it out loud, has a couple of decent, non-tease-able, potential nicknames...etc Girl names however have become word association games and there always seems to be some reason why we don't this name or that. Was it this hard for our parents? I'm sure we'll find the perfect name, somehow, someway. Suggestions are welcome...hint hint hint...LOL

Random Fact: A tiny fire extinguisher came with Xerox's first successful copier because it would tend to overheat and burst into flames.

Sunny Days and Smiles

And I want a perfectly roasted marshmallow. The joys of summer. The smell of a campfire, the laughter of your friends. The warmer weather always brings out the more joyful side of me. Has to be from all the vitamin D that the sun gives. Or maybe it's simply just the warmth of it's glow on my skin because we go six months a year without feeling it.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I like the snow. For my birthday, Christmas, heck - even New Year's but after that I could care less if we have it. The month of December really is the only month I'm really concerned about having it - maybe January but the full month is pushing it. For the other 10 months give me the sun - doesn't have to be 85 degrees, I'd honestly settle for 65 or 70 for most of it.

I'm definitely looking forward to this summer. :) Not sure what's planned but I'm sure it will be something worthwhile and definitely fun. Oh - and my roasted marshmallow.

Random Fact: Americans buy 90 million pounds of marshmallows each year, about the same weight as 1,286 gray whales. Most are sold during the months of October and December.