Sunday, October 4, 2009

Give me strength, courage, and trust beyond that which I have...

Rough weekend and try as I might my mood has been slightly less than stellar.

My Dad has been gone now for 2 years. Doesn't really seem like it but it has. That of course has got me to thinking what am I going to lose this year? In 2007 I lost my father, in 2008 we suffered a miscarriage. 2009 isn't over yet. Am I going to lose something else? I hate thinking of it that way and I really am trying not to but it's definitely a thought that has crossed my mind this weekend.

Other than that, I managed to bruise my elbow by slamming it (not bumping it, or whacking it - I mean full force slam) into a door frame as I was rushing around on Saturday and I managed to cut my finger while I was trying to cut up the potatoes. I managed to peel them just fine but when I was cubing them up, I nicked my finger. Thought everything was ok, then I saw the blood. Just a small cut but still, felt like just my luck this weekend. OH! and I managed to get a UTI. Lucky, fun for me.

Still no period. Tested again on Friday with another negative result. We're going on 46 days now. I'm going to try and make an appointment this week. We'll probably end up doing the Provera again and go from there...It's such a frustrating situation. I can't even tell the office when I think I ovulated because I don't know because I don't have a steady pattern...Grrrr.

For some reason, when I write things down here I feel better. I've also started journaling again; not that I don't love my blog, but it's so nice to just be able to "empty" my mind. To just be able to put everything into words. Hopefully that makes sense.

I think I'm gonna wake J up and go to bed.