Wednesday, August 5, 2009

“It is only because of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually.” M. Scott Peck

I don't understand people. You would think that I would have a grip on what makes some people tick or even what makes certain groups of people tick, seeing as how I spend a good deal of my time observing them. Nope. Nadda. I'm seriously beginnging to think that it's an impossible goal and here's my reason why.

There's this person (well people really) and they've known me for going on 8 - 10 years (while the BIL and ex-SIL were together/married). Well in those years neither person has really gone out of their way to acknowledge me when they've seen me without me doing so first. So then this situation arises that isn't a happy or fun time to go through (separation/divorce) and now everytime they see me I have to get an update on what the entire family is up to. I haven't spoken with my ex-SIL in over a year! I don't get it. I know that she's pregnant and I wish her the safest and healthiest pregnancy (because I seriously don't want anyone to go through a miscarriage - ever) but part of me wishes that she gets really fat and has hard back labor. I don't think that's tooo vendictive - or atleat I hope it's not because I truly to want all parties involved to be safe. But why do I need to hear about it? Part of me feels like it's rub in the face when I had nothing to do with why they aren't together anymore. Grr. People!

The worst part about it is that I've been trying so hard to stay out of and not crawl back into that place in my brain that say you're broken, you're defective, if God wanted you to have a child he wouldn't have taken yours from you and it just seems like people this week are trying my strength to keep that cover shut. I'm trying though - I'm trying hard.

On a happier note, friends (well mainly of my inlaws but I think they are great people) from Blind River Canada (or somewhere near there) are up (down?) visiting for the week and we had an enjoyable breakfast this morning. It was nice to sit around and catch up; I haven't seen them since J and I got married.

Other than that there hasn't been much going on. Still working on the livingroom and the hallway/stairwell. It's coming along slowly. I have pictures to post when I get a minute or two.

I'm looking forward to the season premieres of shows though I can't believe it's already August. Where has the summer flown? It seems like just yesterday I was watching the last of the snow melt and the first buds of the season appear on the trees. *Sigh* Time flys when you're not paying attention.

I think that's all for tonight. :)

Random Fact: On BONES, Angela Montenegro's middle name is "Pearly Gates" which is the name of a guitar belonging to ZZ Top member Billy Gibbons, who plays Angela's father in some episodes.