Monday, October 31, 2011

One of those days....

This weekend has just been a very long one of those days...I've just felt blah and somewhat sad. Perhaps this weekend was the worst and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because J had to work, maybe it's because I want to do more for Nugget and can't. We're trying to wait until after the shower to start getting the nursery prepared/organized which I think is slowly draining me because all I want to do is get things done for the baby - yes it's official I'm nesting - and be with J.

And then there is the shower itself. I'm worried there won't be any people there. I mean did a bad weekend get picked to hold it? And before anyone says anything it's not about the gifts, while they are nice and incredibly, incredibly appreciated - it really isn't. I want people to be happy about this baby. I want people to love this baby as much as J and I already do. I just want Nugget to be celebrated. I want it to be a good time and just be with all my family and friends.

Then there's the nursery. I agree with the decision that J and I agreed to about waiting until after the shower. We don't know what we will receive at the shower and neither of us want to do a whole lot of running around returning things if we don't have to. Doesn't mean that's going stop me from having the thought running through my head that it's not going to be done in time. What if the baby comes early? From the date of the shower, it's only 2 months until Nugget's due date.

Labor is starting to weigh more on my mind as well. What if I can't handle the pain? What if I can't do it? What if we don't make it to the hospital in time?

I miss J. Tonight is just a very emotionally filled night.

Random Fact: Tigers can mate up to 50 times a day!