Saturday, May 23, 2009


Ugh!!! I'm just entirely frustrated tonight and it's really for no reason. Maybe it's just restlessness more than frustration. I wish there was a way to fill this emptiness - this gaping hole - that I feel. I want us to have a family.

I want to write. I have no ideas.
I want to read. Nothing is capturing my attention.
I want to scream. It would be not worth the air.
I want to cry. It would be wasted tears.
I want someone to tell me why and there's no one with the answers.

I bought a lilac bush today. I'm going to plant it either tomorrow or Monday. I'm hoping that it's going to be a deep purple but I'm going to be happy with what I get. :)

I don't really want to go to work tomorrow. Ugh...I'm going to go play a game for a bit then head to bed...Ugh...