Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Day 3 of 30 Day Truth Challenge

I missed yesterday - it was a whirlwind. Whoops. So I will just continue from today and it will be 31 days....

Day 3 - Something you have to forgive yourself for.

And the hits just keep on coming - does this thing get any easier on the questions? LOL.

Something that I have to forgive myself for is probably a toss up between two things. The first is my tendency to take things very personally, even if I had nothing to do with what happened, and find a way to make things my fault somehow. I know that in my heart not everything is my fault and I cannot control the actions of others and how they use knowledge or information they possess. I always try to find the good in everyone that I meet and I have to understand that not everyone does that. I also assume (yes I know the limerick) that everyone I meet is going to do the right thing and not everyone does.

The other thing that I have to forgive myself for is how long it's taking us to have a family. We're, J and I, struggling with it - everyday. I have to realize that it's not all my fault that it's taking this long and that's extremely hard to do, especially when you're a woman. There are so many complex emotions that go along with it that it's no where near funny and guilt is a big one. I also have to forgive myself when I have a bad day handling it and not get even more down on myself about it. It will happen. I hope. I have to forgive myself when I'm not always strong. Why is it that everyone else seems to get it so easy? I mean there are people that I think they get sneezed on (sometimes by a random guy...but that's another topic) and they're pregnant. To steal a line from one of my very best friends, I have to believe that we're meant to be the parents of a very specific combination of egg and sperm. It's hard to remember sometimes.

Anyone else out there have something they have to forgive themselves for?

Random Fact: A key ingredient in steel manufacturing is lime.